One Month of Breathing Differently...

This Post is about our MIRACLE!!! As a refresher (it’s been a while), we stopped fertility treatments back in November after we had a failed IUI treatment that left us exhausted emotionally, physically, and mentally. We had finally come to peace with NOT having a baby at that moment, still having the desire to have our own, but knew at that moment God was saying “no”.   March 4th….a sign ignored. After church we went out to lunch with some of our best friends, who we have shared an infertility journey with; however, just yesterday they became parents to a BEAUTIFUL baby boy. J While sitting there I made a comment about my ribs and back hurting. Not thinking anything of it, except my friend’s husband said "you're probably pregnant". Of course I shrugged it off and said "ummm no….I've given up on that happening". Both he and his wife encouraged us not to give up just yet and we all moved on to a lighter subject and I threw the thought out of my head, at least for a couple days.   March 6th….a day we will never forget. The rib pain/back pain got worse and I was getting congested so I thought I better go to the doctor because I probably had a sinus infection. I had noticed that day I had a little brown spotting and cramping, signs I was about to start my period. Therefore, my mood was not the greatest. When I got there they did some blood work and said they wanted to do an X-Ray since my chest had been hurting. When the tech came in to do the X-Ray she said "now, there's no chance you could be pregnant, right?" I kindly replied "well, there could be, but the likelihood of that is slim to none." She smiled and said "Well, to be on the safe side, I'm going to have them run a pregnancy test with some of the blood we took". As I'm waiting in the room for her to come back and tell me "you're not pregnant" I started praying aloud:          "Lord, I know your timing is perfect, and I'm ok with not being pregnant right now, but PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, give me the strength to listen to her say I'm not. I know you provided a baby for Abraham and Sarah and I know you will for us…IN YOUR TIMING, and again I'm ok with that now….just please give me the strength not to burst in to tears when I here another, no." I can only imagine our Heavenly Father sitting on his Throne listening to be go on and on laughing saying "oh dear child….you are about to be shocked…but thank you for praying for me to give to strength!" The nurse came in and said "I've got good news!" of course, I'm thinking "what…I'm not pregnant??!!" She looked at me and said "You're pregnant!" Immediately I burst in to tears…..she ran over to me and said "hunnie….this is a good thing!!" With mascara running down my face and barely able to get it out, I said "yes it is….We've been trying for almost two years….they gave us no hope!! This is an answer to our prayer!" Immediately she started crying and ran to the trash can to dig out my pregnancy test they took. From that point on I had at least 3 other nurses come in to my room to give me a hug and tell me congrats….mind you I went to a walk-in clinic and knew no one :-) After I pulled myself together I left the office. As soon as I got in the car Tyler called, "Brit, what did the X-Ray say…are you ok??" I proceeded to tell him " they didn't do an X-Ray….I'm ok, but in 9 months, you're gonna be a daddy!" I rarely hear or see my husband cry and at that moment he started crying uncontrollably. Once he was able to speak he said “are you serious?? Thank you Lord!!” We then stopped while on the phone and gave thanks to our Heavenly Father…whose timing is perfect!  After hanging up with Tyler I called my OB/GYN. Of course their first question was “when was your last period”. It’s still hilarious to me to say “December 7th” because They always ask me to repeat that….then they look at my chart and state “ohhh you have PCOS!” After the initial questions from the nurse she told me to come in for some blood work so that they can determine exactly how far along I am and then schedule a confirmation appointment. That day I went to my OB/GYN’s office to get a few vials of blood drawn. They said it would be at least a day or two before they would have the results. When I got home from the doctors office…still in disbelief, I took a pregnancy test….sure enough….positive! When you’re so use to hearing/seeing negative on those things it’s hard to actually believe there’s a positive on one!!! J That night, Tyler and I shared excitement, laughter, disbelief, fears, and gratefulness to our Father! However, waiting for the blood work to come back was nerve racking. The next day, I received a call from one of the nurses at my OB’s office saying “you’re definitely pregnant….we are assuming you’re 4 weeks along, but we would like for you to come in today or tomorrow for more blood work just to make sure all your levels are rising the way they should be” Of course, I went in to their office for blood work that day and had to wait another day for results. Sure enough, the results were the same and everything was rising the way it should. We made my confirmation appointment for April 5th at 9:45AM. Those 4 weeks of waiting just to hear our miracles heartbeat were the most prayed up, thought over weeks of our lives. Satan brought a lot of doubt in my head; however, I am so gracious to my Heavenly Father for loving me through the doubt. Tyler and I felt so overwhelmed by HIS miracle we had to do everything we could to keep it a secret! J   April 5th @ 9:45AM   FINALLY, the day was here!! We were going to hear our sweet baby’s heartbeat!! I won’t lie, I was nervous….”what if they don’t find a heartbeat….what if all our excitement was for nothing?” However, as soon as the ultrasound started the lady said “there’s definitely one baby….and this….is it!” I have NEVER been more in love with a fish looking image on a little screen in my entire life! Once, we saw the baby she said…I’m going to let you hear the heartbeat. Sure enough, the sound of our baby’s heartbeat came on loud and clear. I started crying and Tyler got “giddy” and said…”wow”. That is a sound we will NEVER forget. Our baby’s heartbeat was at 164 and everything looked amazing. Baby Wynn is due to arrive November 17th! We spoke to Dr. Huffman after the ultrasound and she answered some questions as well as encouraged us that everything looks wonderful and she was thrilled for us. When we left the OB’s office, we made a few calls to the VERY few people who knew. After that, we decided Sunday we would make the announcement to everyone else. Many of you have been so supportive, loving, and encouraging through our struggle with infertility. You’re emails, calls, messages, post on facebook and our blog have been overwhelming and we cannot thank you enough for your prayers and love! We know, without a doubt, we were supposed to go through the fertility treatments and all the ups and downs that go along with it. Unfortunately, I need to address those who have voiced their opinion saying “see, God didn’t want you to do fertility!” The thing I want to make very clear to those who have that opinion is 1st: We prayed earnestly about whether or not fertility is what God wanted us to do, and we still believe it’s EXACTLY what he wanted us to do. We believe God can use fertility to help people who have no hope in having a baby on their own (like they told Tyler and Myself) and we feel God would have used fertility treatments in our lives in HIS timing. 2nd: We had planned on keeping the plug pulled on fertility treatments until the Summer….then we would have done a second round of IUI, if we felt that is what the Lord wanted us to do…no decision yet has been made without laying it before our Father’s feet. 3rd: at the end of our lives, we have to stand before the Lord and give an account for the decisions we’ve made, even with fertility, and Tyler and I both have no doubt the Lord led us through that rough journey to teach us MANY valuable lessons about HIS love, faithfulness, and power. We have NO REGRETS and would do it all again if the Lord wanted us to! I am about to get off my soap box but lastly, I say all this to simply say, be careful how you judge people….you do not know their walk with Christ and you do not know their hearts. The end of my soap box lecture! J We share this story with you, not only because we are super excited, but to give our Heavenly Father honor and glory! We have never been more humbled by our Father’s grace than now. We are overwhelmed with excitement for the future and ask that you continue with us in prayer for a HEALTHY baby. We ask that you pray our sweet baby comes to know his/her Heavenly Father at a young age and that Tyler and I are the parents God has called us to be. We know the journey is not over from here and that being a parent is a huge job. We know at times we will get frustrated and wish life would just be calm for a minute. However, in those moments, may we NEVER forget where we came from and May we never forget this answer to prayer. Each moment that seems too much for us to handle, may our Savior remind us of HIS miracle and give us the strength to smile through those moments because we have a miracle we thought we would NEVER be given. For those of you still struggling with infertility, we pray for you!!!! No one will EVER truly understand how you feel unless they themselves have gone through it. We pray that the Lord gives you a Miracle just like He has given us. We pray for your strength and that this blog encourages you to keep the Faith. Please remember, do not put all your hope and faith in medicine and doctors…because they are NOT the ultimate healers (I’m speaking from experience, because I did). Remember your Heavenly Father can USE medicine and doctors to answer your prayers…just keep your faith in your FATHER not those things. J Lastly, if you are going through infertility or any struggle for that matter and you do not know our Heavenly Father personally, I encourage you to take a step back and remember God loved you enough to die for you….He wants you to live eternally with him in Paradise….and you can only do that by confessing your sins and asking him to be your Lord and Savior. Without Him, I do not know how we have gotten through the Year and Eight Months of infertility…however, WITH HIM, we had/have HOPE! My biggest hope is that this is the closest thing to hell we will every have to know….unfortunately, if you do not know our Savior personally; this is the closest thing to Heaven you will know. Hear me….IT DOESN”T HAVE TO STAY THAT WAY! You can have hope too!!! Our Savior is always listening and even if you feel you can’t go on and your struggle is too much, remember, He died for you, not to hurt you, but to give you strength and hope….and NEVER forget HE loves you so very much!!! We will continue to keep up, the best we can, with blog post. Our next appointment is May 8th and a few weeks after that, we will find out if the Baby is a boy or girl! Father, may you receive ALL the HONOR and GLORY for this miracle you have given us. Thank you for trusting us enough to be the parents of such a gift! May we never forget this feeling!!!   We love you all, Tyler, Brittany, and Miracle