Year One....

Tyler and I have always had the desire to one day have children...however, we were not prepared for the journey that desire would take us down. 

Last September I went back to Knoxville to the gynecologist for my yearly, along with having concerns about being irregular. I have always been irregular, but I was noticing that I was never having a period and this concerned me due to the fact that when we wanted to start trying to have a baby I was irregular therefore not ovulating. My gynecologist said not to worry about it and gave me a prescription for Provera, which is a progesterone pill that induces periods. After doing this for a few months, I decided I needed to find another gynecologist in Georgia for a second opinion. 

In our search for a new gynecologist I had several people recommend Dr. K Huffman whose office was less than ten minutes from our home. I called and was put on a wait list for an appointment. I finally got an appointment in February 2011. Tyler and I went together to this appointment because I wanted another set of ears to verify what the issue was. However, we didn't realize this one appointment would start an exhausting list of tests that needed to be run. 

Dr. Huffman suggested I get several panels of blood drawn to test me for various hormonal issues. One of those being Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, which is most commonly found in overweight women and is where your body produces more testosterone than estrogen. This causes women not to ovulate. Once the blood work results were in we were told that I do in fact have PCOS and although I am a rare candidate for the syndrome, I do have it. This would be the answer to not having "normal" periods and constantly turning to Provera to induce my periods. After those results were in Dr. Huffman did an ultrasound on my ovaries to make sure ovarian cancer was not an issue. Although I did have several cysts on my ovaries, ovarian cancer was not the case, which was a relief for us. The last thing Dr. Huffman wanted to do was an HSG test, where they insert a catheter into the uterus and inject dye to determine if there is any blockage in the fallopian tubes. She explained that this test/minor surgery was very painful and she would not recommend it unless there was in fact a just cause for it. She truly felt like there might be blockage in one or both of my tubes and wanted to verify her feeling. All of this happened so fast that Tyler and I barely had time to process each diagnosis, however, we knew the Lord had his hand on us and we were trusting Him. 

After the HSG test we were given the results that my left fallopian tube is blocked however my right tube is working wonderfully. Now that all the tests were completed we could get a game plan of how to "fix" me. Dr. Huffman said I could go see a reproductive specialist and have surgery to unblock my left tube or I could leave it and start the fertility drug clomid to induce ovulation so that we can start trying to conceive. She did warn us that it might take longer than usual because I only have one tube that is working. After Tyler and I prayed about these options we decided we would try clomid before surgery.

Those of you who are unfamiliar with clomid, it is a fertility drug used to induce ovulation. We started on 50 mg. When ovulating your progesterone levels are to be at a 5, however on clomid they want your levels to be at a 15. My levels after one month of clomid was .6. This was expected for us however, when we were bumped up to 100 mg. my levels stayed at .6, which threw Dr. Huffman for a loop as well as us. We were truly discouraged and frustrated with this. Tyler kept reminding me through my tears that God was in control and that God would bless our desires to become parents, we just have to be patient and wait for his timing.

So, where are we now....we are now on 150 mg. of clomid. Dr. Huffman called me the other day to explain that she can only take me to 200 mg and if she cannot get me to ovulate after that she will have to send us to a reproductive specialist for other treatments/fertility options. We are praying that the Lord allows this medicine to work so that I can ovulate and so that we can have the chance to start a family. 

Although this is not where we thought we would be a little over a year into our marriage, we realize that God has a plan and a purpose for us. We always thought that when we were ready to start a family a few years into our marriage that it would just happen...however,We are realizing that our timing is not always God's timing and that when we do not understand and we don't see God's hand, we MUST trust his heart. This has been a challenge especially for me. I find myself getting lost in hopelessness and unbelief. I find myself at times having a pity party. Questioning why I cannot do what I was created to do...have babies! I find myself getting angry when I hear of couples being "surprised" by their pregnancy or hearing of a teen becoming pregnant. I want to scream out " why can THEY get pregnant and we can't! It just isn't fair...I want a "surprise" baby...I just want ONE baby." However, God is constantly using Tyler to remind me that he is faithful and to never give up, never lose hope, and to always preserver. The Lord is reminding me to rejoice with those who rejoice and morn with those who morn. Tyler and I truly believe that we will be able to have a family one day...despite our odds...and that when that day comes we will only be able to give our Heavenly Father the honor and glory for it. 

Until that day, we plan to blog our journey so that we can be reminded of the Lord's faithfulness through this unexpected journey. Infertility is seemed to be a "closet" issue. Couples usually do not share their struggles due to embarrassment or maybe another reason, however, we have chosen to share our story to help encourage those who are struggling with infertility or even to encourage someone who is questioning the motives of our Savior. In no way do we want this blog to be a pity story, rather a story of God's AMAZING love and faithfulness to us. We pray this blog is a sweet song to HIS ears.